I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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