Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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