We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My pussy is not your playground.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
