just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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