My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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