If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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