I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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