i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
