I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
