I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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