tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize