What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
