Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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