Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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