Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
