oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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