It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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