Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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