u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
