My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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