i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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