no, he came in my armpit
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
