Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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