Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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