He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
