Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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