so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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