i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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