Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
