i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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