Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
