We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
