Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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