im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
