i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
