I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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