This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
