she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
