I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
as a side note pls kill me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
