Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
