Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize