What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize