His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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