You work out of a Hotel?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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