No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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