hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
