this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
