Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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