i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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