please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
