Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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