Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
