I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
