There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
