did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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