sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize