Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
