things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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