She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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