The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
