Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
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