Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
