Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
