This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
