Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
