only if we run a train.
done.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
